Today I turned in my two weeks at Sealcon. I have worked there 2 years, 9 months and 22 days. I have learned much and it has been a fun ride. Today though I have made the first step into starting my career. I have taken a full time paid internship and I am not assured a job after 1,000 hours (roughly 6 months). For a while that scared me, but I had a moment of clarity.
My boss asked me if he could do anything that would keep me at Sealcon. It hit me. I am stuck in life. I have not gone up and was slowly going down. I was getting used to not being challenged. I was used to "easy money". I have not learned anything new at Sealcon for years. I needed a change and I think this internship is just the change I need. I shook my head and he understood. He said "Yeah, I didn't think so."
Level 3 is a definite shark tank. Those who do not work hard are cut. Those who cannot solve problems are cut. Those who do not prove they are worthy are cut. Challenge accepted! I enjoy competition and I cannot wait to get back into the real corporate game. Call me psycho but I am ready to take this internship head on. I will give 100% to turning this internship into a full time job. I am working on only seeing victory and so far I see the path. I need to get my CCNA during this internship. That will show I am trying to make myself more marketable. Besides working whenever I can and throwing myself at them, this step will break open that door.
Tuesday, January 22, 2013
Tuesday, January 15, 2013
Goals not resolutions
I was really amped after writing my blog post Fear last night. I realized though that I need to start with small manageable goals. Yeah it is good to look at the big picture but it is intimidating. Also, it feels like life has figured out that I am sick of what I have been accepting and is throwing everything at me. I will still not back down. I will be a better person at the end of 2013. Dave Ramsey proposes to get out of debt we should snow ball it. Start paying off the lowest credit cards until you get to the most expensive credit card. I am going to apply that same principle to my weight issue.
Right now I weigh about 255 lbs. That is hugely obese for a 5'7" person. According to the Live Well Colorado website, a person of my height should be between 118-158 lbs (http://movement.livewellcolorado.org/gut_check/bmi-calculator). That is 100 lbs I have to lose! I will not be discouraged though! So there are few life changes I am going to have to make these life changes:
1. Less Drinking: I love beer, who doesn't? Unfortunately is filled with carbs and empty calories. I need to cut down on beer. One a week. No more of going out twice a week and having three beers per outing and mind you these are micro brews! Heavy and full of calories.
2. No More Fast Food: Fast food is low in nutrients in high in fat. That's bad news for someone who is trying to lose weight. Need to put the brakes on that fully.
3. Exercise More: 24 Hour has been taking my money. I have not used my gym for months under the excuse of " I am too tired'. I obviously am not too tired to burn three hours playing Skyrim after school. No more excuses. I need to get my fat ass to the gym.
Ok so now I have a "doctrine" now I need a goal. So here it is:
Weight should be 245 lbs (or less).
Right now I weigh about 255 lbs. That is hugely obese for a 5'7" person. According to the Live Well Colorado website, a person of my height should be between 118-158 lbs (http://movement.livewellcolorado.org/gut_check/bmi-calculator). That is 100 lbs I have to lose! I will not be discouraged though! So there are few life changes I am going to have to make these life changes:
1. Less Drinking: I love beer, who doesn't? Unfortunately is filled with carbs and empty calories. I need to cut down on beer. One a week. No more of going out twice a week and having three beers per outing and mind you these are micro brews! Heavy and full of calories.
2. No More Fast Food: Fast food is low in nutrients in high in fat. That's bad news for someone who is trying to lose weight. Need to put the brakes on that fully.
3. Exercise More: 24 Hour has been taking my money. I have not used my gym for months under the excuse of " I am too tired'. I obviously am not too tired to burn three hours playing Skyrim after school. No more excuses. I need to get my fat ass to the gym.
Ok so now I have a "doctrine" now I need a goal. So here it is:
Weight should be 245 lbs (or less).
Monday, January 14, 2013
Fear
Today I learned that I basically failed an assessment for a job that I know would have changed my life. It should have been mine but I did not study like I should have. Instead I sat around and played video games. Immature? No not really. For many of you, you can fill in video games with going out with friends, projects, even church. I knew this was my foot in the door but the whole time I was asking myself, am I ready? I literally sabotaged myself out of an excellent opportunity. Why?
Because I am afraid of, I fear getting hurt. What if I did not fit in? What if I could not do the job well? What if I did not enjoy this new job? The "what if's" have been controlling my life for as long as I have been alive. I am even this way with relationships. What if she doesn't like me? What if she says no to this date? What if she dumps me? What if I end up not liking her? I have grown up always going with the "safe bet" and I think that "safe bet" has been the biggest and probably the most dangerous bet I have been making. I am stuck, scratch that, I am sinking. I am at a job where I don't make the money I should be making, I seem to lack the ability right now to have or act on any affections I have for a girl, my pant size gets larger and larger while my arms get smaller and smaller.
I have always looked at myself like a business. I am Dain Co. Right now, Dain Co. is losing a lot of business. What do I have to offer? What have I done in the last 5 years worth anything? Well I went to Haiti to help rebuild a school. I got my Associates degree for Network Administration. That's it! The past 5 years I have done two things that I can say have changed my life. The rest is me logging in hours on my Xbox or my PC. I have a lot to give too! I am funny, a quick learner, uber tech geek, a great cook and a great friend. People and jobs appreciate skills but they want what you can give them. A job wants you to give them results that generate more money than they are paying you (Google ROI). A woman/man's wants get more complicated. Sure everyone says it is on the inside that counts but really first impressions start on the outside. Looking good though, will only get you her/his number and maybe a few empty dates. We are a relational race and we need someone who also cares, listens, appreciates and loves us. That second element will take you to new heights and hopefully will give you a lifetime friend (but I am speaking from observation, I could be COMPLETELY WRONG). So the current state of Dain Co. is as follows:
1. I probably work as the lowest paid System Administrator at $13/hr.
2. I still live at home, probably stuck here for another three years.
3. I have gone on vacations two years in a row now, and by myself.
4. I have gone from a size 38 to 42 in two years.
5. Got a belly and multiple chins.
6. I am currently working on my BS degree in computer programming. I like it!
7. Glad to say I am drinking less.
8. Still don't have my own room (since I was 2).
9. THIS close to being credit card debt free.
Right now that list is pretty depressing list but you know what? Some of those is my own damn fault. I need to stop eating (sorry for the French but here it comes) shitty fast food. I need to cut down or completely stop playing computer games and get my ass to the gym. Further than that, I need to start doing more activities that stimulates and challenges my mind, soul and body. I live in Colorado! I have a whole playground of hiking in my backyard! I am wasting a perfectly good body in a environment that is not real. I should start saving my money for down payment on a house so I can have a mortgage I could afford on $13/hr (impossible?). I am sick of being stuck! I am the master of my life! I am going to set goals and I am going to be a whole different person. A better Dain. One who is healthy, smart, caring, funny, smart with money. And on a further note!
Thank you ladies for rejecting me! Seriously thank you! I thought you were so dumb for not saying yes to my advances. Thank you Pam and Mayumi for wasting your time on me. Seriously, if I did get past the friend zone what would I have to keep you interested? I live with my mom, for Christ's sake. If it wasn't for your rejection I would not have come to this place. I feel enlightened, empowered and hungry to better myself.
Because I am afraid of, I fear getting hurt. What if I did not fit in? What if I could not do the job well? What if I did not enjoy this new job? The "what if's" have been controlling my life for as long as I have been alive. I am even this way with relationships. What if she doesn't like me? What if she says no to this date? What if she dumps me? What if I end up not liking her? I have grown up always going with the "safe bet" and I think that "safe bet" has been the biggest and probably the most dangerous bet I have been making. I am stuck, scratch that, I am sinking. I am at a job where I don't make the money I should be making, I seem to lack the ability right now to have or act on any affections I have for a girl, my pant size gets larger and larger while my arms get smaller and smaller.
I have always looked at myself like a business. I am Dain Co. Right now, Dain Co. is losing a lot of business. What do I have to offer? What have I done in the last 5 years worth anything? Well I went to Haiti to help rebuild a school. I got my Associates degree for Network Administration. That's it! The past 5 years I have done two things that I can say have changed my life. The rest is me logging in hours on my Xbox or my PC. I have a lot to give too! I am funny, a quick learner, uber tech geek, a great cook and a great friend. People and jobs appreciate skills but they want what you can give them. A job wants you to give them results that generate more money than they are paying you (Google ROI). A woman/man's wants get more complicated. Sure everyone says it is on the inside that counts but really first impressions start on the outside. Looking good though, will only get you her/his number and maybe a few empty dates. We are a relational race and we need someone who also cares, listens, appreciates and loves us. That second element will take you to new heights and hopefully will give you a lifetime friend (but I am speaking from observation, I could be COMPLETELY WRONG). So the current state of Dain Co. is as follows:
1. I probably work as the lowest paid System Administrator at $13/hr.
2. I still live at home, probably stuck here for another three years.
3. I have gone on vacations two years in a row now, and by myself.
4. I have gone from a size 38 to 42 in two years.
5. Got a belly and multiple chins.
6. I am currently working on my BS degree in computer programming. I like it!
7. Glad to say I am drinking less.
8. Still don't have my own room (since I was 2).
9. THIS close to being credit card debt free.
Right now that list is pretty depressing list but you know what? Some of those is my own damn fault. I need to stop eating (sorry for the French but here it comes) shitty fast food. I need to cut down or completely stop playing computer games and get my ass to the gym. Further than that, I need to start doing more activities that stimulates and challenges my mind, soul and body. I live in Colorado! I have a whole playground of hiking in my backyard! I am wasting a perfectly good body in a environment that is not real. I should start saving my money for down payment on a house so I can have a mortgage I could afford on $13/hr (impossible?). I am sick of being stuck! I am the master of my life! I am going to set goals and I am going to be a whole different person. A better Dain. One who is healthy, smart, caring, funny, smart with money. And on a further note!
Thank you ladies for rejecting me! Seriously thank you! I thought you were so dumb for not saying yes to my advances. Thank you Pam and Mayumi for wasting your time on me. Seriously, if I did get past the friend zone what would I have to keep you interested? I live with my mom, for Christ's sake. If it wasn't for your rejection I would not have come to this place. I feel enlightened, empowered and hungry to better myself.
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