"There are some things you learn best in calm, and some in storm."-Willa Cather
My friend Nick posted that on Facebook and it had me thinking. I have learned this lesson over and over again. I was talking to another friend about what we learned this past year and I told her "I don't think I will ever love as recklessly as I did in the past." I have been thinking a lot about that statement because honestly, it just came out. Reckless love is a wonderful and beautiful thing. Reckless love is a "face value" love. Reckless love is a bet with high risks, and like high risks, you can lose everything.
Reckless love is like buying a house and not taking a tour. The house could be perfect. Or it could have plumbing issues. Reckless love is a hail Mary in the winds of fate. The last two relationships I have been in,I took this bet and I lost a bit of myself each time. I have weathered those storms and have learned, reckless is not for me.
My heart of heart's desire is to find a wife. I have put it into God's hands. The next relationship I am in, I am taking my time. Checking the walls for cracks and that the foundation was built on stone. When I see the red flags, that I address it. Reckless love ignores the cracks, ignores the "no-go zones". You accept the unacceptable things. Where you put your anger underneath a rug and lie to yourself. " Anger as soon as fed is dead, tis starving that makes it fat."
I lost my Reckless Love in this last storm. I got my heart back again. Never will I give it away so fast. A person who keeps coming back to the source of pain should not blame the source. He should blame himself. If you keep putting your hand on a hot plate you are going to get burned. Until marriage, I will be in charge of guarding my heart as the way it should be. If I am in charge of guarding my heart than I can control it. I can feel my anger and forgive quickly. I can avoid getting hurt and let go way more easier.
